Would this make you stop reading?

[E_Finley]

Soren_Ringh wrote:

Basically, I go by that a story character has two major internal issues. One, is what they most desire, maybe it’s to save mankind, maybe it’s smaller, like finding love.

The other issue, is that something happened in their past that has thrown their worldview out of alignment. Maybe they have trouble trusting others, self-confidence issues, etc. Whatever it is, it has stopped them before and it will stop their story goal unless they overcome it.

I have not thought of it in these exact terms, but it clarifies things when I do. Thanks for your input.

[Wandering Author]

First, I’m going to second Zette. If this is the story you want to tell, don’t change it because of anyone else’s opinions.

Second – would it make me stop reading? The only way I could answer that would be to read those two chapters, because it depends entirely on how you handle it. (And, say you handle it so that I’d stop reading; there are still two possible reasons for that. One: you handled it badly. Not saying you would, but without reading it, I can’t rule out that possibility. Two: you’re writing a story I don’t happen to want to read. Not every reader likes every book.)

[Nonny]

Gerri wrote:

Basically, don’t connect the death to only the emotions of the MC. Connect it also to the events going on. And it sounds like you have.

To carry off what Gerri is saying, I would also possibly read up on the Women in Refrigerators trope and make sure that what you’re doing isn’t fridging a character. (The link there is to an essay by Marie Brennan.) It’s okay for a character to die, but if you make her death all about the hero’s pain, then… that is an example of fridging.

That is not to say, don’t do it. It is to say, think about what you’re doing and the messages you may be sending. (I would actually find it more interesting if the male friends you talked about were the ones killed, and then he and his girlfriend went off to have adventures together.)

[E_Finley]

Nonny, thank you for bringing this to my attention. My husband told me about girl in the fridge before because he reads comics. I don’t think I was fridging her, but I’m glad you brought it up because it made me consider what the story would be like if she survived. She would add some positive motivation at the beginning. I had not planned this character into later parts of the story, but she could add some depth and a little conflict. I should probably do this with any character death, make sure it is necessary and ask what would happen if they survived.

[Author]

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