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If my MC has a girlfriend in chapter 1 and I kill her off in a fight in chapter 2, would this make you stop reading?
It happens as a result of bad decisions by the MC though they only seem bad in retrospect. I won’t make you read my story reasons since I’d have to explain quite a bit, but is it too nasty for chapter 2 of fantasy?
I’m still trying to decide if it’s too nasty for mc. I don’t want to give him a breakdown before he’s even begun.
I’m going to give you some really broad advice —
Write the story you want to tell. Don’t ask if this is going to stop us from reading. It might stop one person and not another three. Who are you going to listen to?
You have to write your story, without worrying about the readers. They’re nebulous creatures out there. You have to please yourself with the story first, and then find people who like to read what you do.
So write the story. Don’t worry about anything but making it the best story you can tell.
I agree with Zette. Primarly because my first inclination is to give the response of “It depends on the story.” I can’t know if I’ll put your book down or keep reading upon the girlfriend’s death until I have it in my hands and am reading it. I can’t make that prediction about any book I read before I’ve read it.
Ashe Elton Parker
"Just love me, fear me, do as I say, and I will be your slave." ~ David Bowie as Jareth in Labyrinth
~*~
Member since 1998.
~*~Seconding Zette here.
Honestly, this isn’t a question people can really, honestly, answer. Most readers don’t stop reading because of one cut and dried event. Some readers might not like stories with really tough emotions — if that is the case it’s possible your book isn’t the right book for that reader. There will always be readers for whom your book is just a bad fit. That’s not a fault of the book, or the reader. It’s just that no book is a good read for all readers.
Further, an honest answer would nearly always be ‘it depends’. If you do it badly, people will likely stop reading, but, that is the result of ineffective story telling, not because of one story choice. If, conversely, you do it very well, even people who ordinarily might dislike this sort of story twist might well like it in your book.
So, again, just write the story as seems right to you. Write it as well as you can. If you do this, the story will find its readership.
–June
Honestly? If your main character needs to do something dangerous and/or time consuming (like going on a quest?), but he has something holding him back when you first introduce him, I’m pretty much going to read on assuming that somehow that complication will be taken out of the equation.
So no, it wouldn’t make me stop reading. Have faith in your readers.
Can’t really top the advice already given here. I can say I’m a fairly sensitive reader, but wouldnt give up on a book because of a tragic death in chapter 2.
I’d advise looking to thriller, conspiracy, and mystery tropes for your answer. Often, it’s a death of someone close to the MC that’s killed to give motivation. Consider those things for your inspiration.
I have a problem with writers who create a loved one for the sole purpose of killing them so the MC can have character growth. I don’t like Uncle Ben Syndrome.
But if your death doesn’t give off that “disposable loved one” vibe, I have no problem with it as a reader.
Would it make me stop reading? That depends entirely in how it’s written, and how it’s handled. In one book I read (I won’t mention the title or author here, for fear of spoiling people’s surprise in the book, not only does the main character’s girlfriend die in (I think it’s) the prologue, but he’s the one that kills her, accidentally with a gunshot to the face. I *almost* stopped reading, but continued, and am very glad that I did.
It all depends on the writing.
I’m quite squeamish about characters deaths, but even so that wouldn’t make me put the book down and stop reading if I was enjoying it. Actually, thinking about it, one of my favourite books does that, except that they kill the girlfriend at the end of chapter one… and it doesn’t stop me loving that book at all.
PoppyPoppy wrote:I have a problem with writers who create a loved one for the sole purpose of killing them so the MC can have character growth. I don’t like Uncle Ben Syndrome.But if your death doesn’t give off that “disposable loved one” vibe, I have no problem with it as a reader.
Thanks for your reply. You’ve raised a concern that interests me.
Killing a loved one to move the story along does sometimes irritate me as a reader. I also don’t like when friends get killed and then the MC continues on as if nothing happened and the readers do the same because they were just faceless fodder.
I had originally slotted two male friends as the ones getting killed, but I realized that there were no females of his race in my story and it made sense that there should be, since they would be half the population.
The MC later discovers that it was a betrayal that got his two friends killed and was supposed to get him killed too, so the closer he was to his friends the more upset he will be about the betrayal. This point could be uncle Ben -ish, but the plot would move forward and the MC would be motivated even if no one got killed. However, the deaths leave the MC all alone moving forward and also keep him uninterested in other girls for a while.
The only character growth I see coming from it is learning how to grieve and let go, to be happy again.
That’s exactly what is so annoying about Uncle Bens.
They are Hard Working Mom Model I or Retiring Cop Model III or Perfect Girlfriend Model VI. They are caricatures of people, cardboard cutouts masquerading as characters. They are like keys made of ice: open the door and then they melt.
Death is traumatic. A fictional death should be traumatic too. A character’s death, even if they were only around for two chapters, should kick the reader in the gut. I think readers would prefer a realistic portrayal to an Uncle Ben version. Well, that’s how I see it, anyway.
Will you lose some readers? Maybe. :unsure: If you handle the death and its repercussions realistically, I’ll bet you gain more readers than you lose.
Well, Uncle Ben syndrome is also random killing of loved one to provide motivation. It’s the random part that makes it annoying. If the point/theme of the story is stopping drunk driving, then there’s a reason someone killed by a drunk driver might motivate the story. But if someone is killed by a drunk driver, and the point of the story is to stop an atomic weapon from being siezed, well, there’d better be some justification there that connects to the STORY, not just to the character. That’s the problem with Uncle Ben. He’s killed to give Peter a guilt trip, not because Uncle Ben was important to the events going on. Now, if that random death was caused by someone who went on to be much more, well…
Basically, don’t connect the death to only the emotions of the MC. Connect it also to the events going on. And it sounds like you have.
There is to much I don’t know about your story for me to really give you my opinion, but since this death occurs in the beginning I can give some thoughts.
Basically, I go by that a story character has two major internal issues. One, is what they most desire, maybe it’s to save mankind, maybe it’s smaller, like finding love.
The other issue, is that something happened in their past that has thrown their worldview out of alignment. Maybe they have trouble trusting others, self-confidence issues, etc. Whatever it is, it has stopped them before and it will stop their story goal unless they overcome it.
I’m of the school that the story starts around when what they desire, comes head to head with what is holding them back. Not exactly of course but say by the end of act one. Now about your character’s death…
If it is what knocks your MC’s worldview out of alignment, I would say start the story later. After her death and slowly show why the MC is the way he is because of that event. If the death brings about a desire for change within him and that’s what begins the two issues coming head to head, then it’s probably alrite.
Like I said, there is to much I don’t know and it would just be my opinion anyway. If it seems right to you, then write the story you want to write.
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