NOTE: To all Abused Characters, and their Authors

Home Forums House of Creativity The Writing Pad NOTE: To all Abused Characters, and their Authors

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 33 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #199922
    TobeOrNotTobe
    Participant
      0 Pirate Gold Coins

      This post is due to the advice of J.A. Marlow, who has urged me to put this information out. If you abuse your characters, or know an author who does, please use the following to seek help.

      Have the character in question call the the CPH(Character Protection Hotline), which will get them into the SFTPOA&NC’s(Society For the Protection Of Abused and Neglected Characters) care, who will introduces them to a local MAAMA(My Author Abuses Me Anonymous) meeting near them.

      If you have any further information or ideas on how to help these poor, poor characters, please post below.

      #214380
      CatP
      Participant
        0 Pirate Gold Coins

        Now I’m wondering if there is a register for Character Abusers.

        #214390
        Ashe Elton Parker
        Moderator
          38 Pirate Gold Coins

          It’s called “The Publishing Industry.” When you publish your novel or story, no matter what method used, you publicly announce you’re an abusive author.

          Ashe Elton Parker
          "Just love me, fear me, do as I say, and I will be your slave." ~ David Bowie as Jareth in Labyrinth
          ~*~
          Member since 1998.
          ~*~
          #214391
          CatP
          Participant
            0 Pirate Gold Coins

            Imagines characters huddling around a pinup board checking out authors’ names to see if they will accept a gig.

            Char A : “Hell, No. This author had five skulls next to thier name.”

            Char B : “You think that’s many? Look at this author. they started a new line for the skulls.”

            Char C : “Oh!” *writes down name*

            Char A : “C. Don’t do it.” *Tries to take pen away*

            Char B : “Leave him.” *pulls Char A away* “You know he’s into pain. Come on, we’ll get coffee.” *walks away*

            *Char A lingers. Sees Char C limp away, to his sports car.*

            #214392
            Ashe Elton Parker
            Moderator
              38 Pirate Gold Coins

              LOL!

              Ashe Elton Parker
              "Just love me, fear me, do as I say, and I will be your slave." ~ David Bowie as Jareth in Labyrinth
              ~*~
              Member since 1998.
              ~*~
              #214393
              NPhoenix
              Moderator
                0 Pirate Gold Coins

                bwahaha!!!!

                #214381
                Gilroy
                Participant
                  6 Pirate Gold Coins

                  😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:

                  #214382
                  Gabriele Campbell
                  Participant
                    0 Pirate Gold Coins

                    My characters have no reason to complain. It clearly says in the job description: You will suffer psychically and physically. You will get wounded, maybe to the point of being disabled; you may get tortured; you may die a painful death. You will see beloved ones suffer and die; you may lose everything you hold dear. If you survive, you will be put through the ringer again in a sequel.

                    Still, the line of applicants is through the door and around the corner. :P

                    #214439
                    Ashe Elton Parker
                    Moderator
                      38 Pirate Gold Coins

                      LOL Yeah, I don’t know why I’m still getting characters. My advertisement has been “Will practice making you cry in despair and frustration to the point of needing therapy and/or scream in physical pain for duration. Botched attempts at causing pain may in fact be more painful than that which was actually planned, even deadly. Apply only if willing to be a guinea pig,” for a while now. I guess they love being lab rats.

                      Ashe Elton Parker
                      "Just love me, fear me, do as I say, and I will be your slave." ~ David Bowie as Jareth in Labyrinth
                      ~*~
                      Member since 1998.
                      ~*~
                      #214440
                      Gabriele Campbell
                      Participant
                        0 Pirate Gold Coins

                        That, or the plotbunnies use unfair recruiting methods, like making the characters drunk and then have them sign the documents. 👿

                        #214442
                        Ashe Elton Parker
                        Moderator
                          38 Pirate Gold Coins

                          LOL I suspect that’s the case with my characters. I’m certainly not offering any kind of compensation to my characters. There’s no guarantee they’ll come out of what I do to them with a mind which doesn’t require some sort of medication. It’s the price they pay for signing up for emotional torture.

                          Ashe Elton Parker
                          "Just love me, fear me, do as I say, and I will be your slave." ~ David Bowie as Jareth in Labyrinth
                          ~*~
                          Member since 1998.
                          ~*~
                          #214383
                          CatP
                          Participant
                            0 Pirate Gold Coins

                            For all those authors that feel bad about abusing your characters there is group called CAA (Character Abusers Anonymous). Meetings are held 24/7 online (because we all know Character Abusers daren’t venture into the outside world for fear of causing harm or catching more plot bunnies). Online meetings are held here – CCA

                            All are welcome, the more the merrier.

                            During meetings we discuss the following (though we are not limited to these discussion points)

                            • Methods of torture (acceptable and unacceptable)
                            • Poisons; To Kill or Not To Kill
                            • Weapons of choice; from ancient to futuristic
                            • Food
                            • Winning wars and battles but still losing everything you loved
                            • Why death isn’t the worst outcome
                            • Hope and it’s horrors
                            • Food
                            • Words to describe Pain
                            • Suitable payments for victory/happiness
                            • Love Lost
                            • Food
                            #214384
                            MrGrey
                            Participant
                              0 Pirate Gold Coins

                              *sad music plays*

                              Every day, an author runs out of ideas on how to advance their novel. Every day, characters huddle together, hoping that the author won’t create a sudden bandit raid, introduce a new villain, or reveal that the two lovers are actually siblings.

                              “I just don’t know what happened,” said Goody McLight, paladin in a high fantasy novel. “I felt we were doing alright, milling about a city without any conflict going on. Of course, this makes The Author mad. He doesn’t like it when we’re not fighting, in pain, or having a horrific dream sequence. So he…so he had rogues ambush us at night and drag us into their rat-infested sewer. Of course, he had someone swoop in right as the executioner swung his axe in the air, but…it was all set up for The Author. He likes this stuff.”

                              “Everything was going well,” said Anne, star of a romance novel. “Until The Author sat down to write us. She was muttering something with a bottle of alcohol in hand, something about her workplace driving her up the wall. Before I knew it, my boyfriend was crushed in a landslide, my love rival was eaten by wolves, and the character that was based on her boss burst into flames. I just feel she might come for me next time, you know?” She gave a heavy sigh. “I just hope she rewrites it when she wakes up.”

                              Authors everywhere are dragging these poor characters through hell, all in the name of entertainment. “I was told that every scene needed conflict,” said one author. “So that’s why I had the sidekick vaporised by a ray gun. Makes it all moody and dramatic, don’t you think? Makes you want to buy a copy, don’t you think? I take pre-orders, you know.”

                              With a monthly donation of $10, you can sponsor a character who has been killed off. They’ll receive food, shelter and much-needed character development in order to get back into novels.

                              End the conflict. Give today.

                              #214385
                              Wandering Author
                              Participant
                                0 Pirate Gold Coins

                                Am I the only one who sees plot bunnies popping out all over this thread? 😆 :woohoo:

                                #214487
                                Samantha_Kroese
                                Participant
                                  0 Pirate Gold Coins

                                  I think it’d be a great series or story or sitcom or something! Every episode could have different characters and their authors.. 😆

                                  Would dead characters look for authors that bring characters back to life? “Oh, look! This one raises ghosts from the dead!” Or do they not truly die but take on different roles like actors in a movie and go to another author when one kills them?

                                Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 33 total)
                                • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.