Did You Forget Body Language?
By Karen Kincy
© 2005,
Karen Kincy
Have you forgotten to use body language in
your stories? I'm guilty of this. More often than I'd like to admit, my
characters are "talking heads" when they speak. My dialogue is bare of
accompanying physical description. In real life, we rely heavily on gestures
and facial cues. All too often ambiguous e-mails cause misunderstandings --
yet the tone of these words would be obvious if they were said face-to-face.
Since body language is so important for communication, it seems odd that I
forgot this in fiction. Fortunately, its lack can be remedied.
The easiest and probably most accurate way
to add body language to your fiction is to observe people in real life.
Whenever you're people-watching, study their faces, postures, and gestures.
Take notes in the field or write your observations down later.
When you get back to your manuscript, keep
your notes nearby so you can spice up your writing. You might try labeling
your field observations according to emotions -- easier when done on the
computer. The “Find” feature of Microsoft Word is invaluable when searching
for the most apt description.
If you're like me, you might fall in love
with some of your finds and use them to death. My poor readers sigh,
"Another character is pursing her lips?" Try to mark off a description as
"taken" after you use it. If it's ordinary enough to be used again, try to
keep it at least a dozen pages away from the first time it appears. If
you're forced to cut a gem of a description from the manuscript, make sure
you keep a copy in another place, so you can recycle it later.
Sometimes I write dialogue so fast I don't
have time for description. I throw in the first things that come to mind --
"she smiled," "he nodded." These simple actions can serve their purpose
well, if not overused. While in the polishing stage, you might want to
enhance them with character-unique descriptions or metaphors. "He smiled,
baring yellowed teeth." Or, "Her lips curved into the smile of a Greek
statue."
If you've used up all your field
observations, look to yourself next. You might not notice all your body
language quirks in action. Ask a friend what you look like when talking,
sitting, joking, and so on. Make faces in a mirror, pretending to be
pensive, angry, sad, etc. You might find books on acting helpful.
Finally, there's the scholarly approach to
body language. Search the Internet for "body language," "nonverbal
communication," and "kinesics" for a start. Here are some links I found
helpful:
The Nonverbal Dictionary:
http://members.aol.com/nonverbal2/diction1.htm
Nonverbal Communication Links:
http://www3.usal.es/%7Enonverbal/introduction.htm
Examples of Body Language:
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/body.htm
Try reading your dialogue out loud. This is
an invaluable way to test its authenticity, and if you pay attention to your
physical reactions, you can add them in. If a fictional argument gets your
fists clenched (or you meant it to), try adding those clenched fists to your
character. This will help the reader feel what the character is feeling. If
you're having trouble acting out a particular scene, perhaps you haven't
delved deep enough into the emotions of your characters.
Another revealing exercise is having a
trusted friend read your dialogue to you. If they're unsure of what tone to
use, or say the words much differently than you had intended, you may want
to add more body language, rewrite the dialogue, or both.
Carefully season your dialogue with body
language. Too much, and it will slow the pace to a crawl. Too little, and
your readers won't be sure how the characters feel. Of course, these are all
matters of style. Experiment until you find your favorite recipe.
For example, here's an exchange between two
characters that I think should be enhanced:
Example #1
Ylva said, "Theodorik Blakkvor stopped by
earlier today, while you were in the meadow."
Ravelda asked, "Who?"
"Don't you remember him? You met him when
you were about five winters old. He's short, with a crooked nose."
Ravelda frowned. "I don't remember anything
from that long ago."
Could Theodorik be my father?
When she was little, she used to pretend her father was talking to her, and
they would have long conversations in her head. But she could never truly
hear his voice.
Ravelda tried to smile. "Is Theodorik your
sweetheart?"
Ylva shook her head. "Certainly not. He's
an old friend, you know that."
If I overdid the body language, it would be
something like this:
Example #2
Ylva swallowed a mouthful of soup and
dabbed her lips with deliberation. She glanced at her daughter, lips tight,
and released a sigh. "Theodorik Blakkvor stopped by earlier today, while you
were in the meadow."
Ravelda's ears pricked, her heartbeat
quickening. "Who?"
"Don't you remember him?" Ylva furrowed her
brow. Her fingers tightened around her spoon. "You met him when you were
about five winters old. He's short, with a crooked nose."
Ravelda squinted as she thought, staring at
the ceiling. She rubbed her chin. "I don't remember anything from that long
ago."
A familiar knot tightened in her stomach.
She folded her hands in her lap and looked away from her mother. Could
Theodorik be my father? When she was little, she used to pretend her
father was talking to her, and they would have long conversations in her
head. But she could never truly hear his voice.
Ravelda bounced her leg to release nervous
energy and tried to smile teasingly. She kept her eyes on her mother's,
watching for annoyance. "Is Theodorik your sweetheart?"
Ylva snorted. "Certainly not." She tugged
her bowl closer and began eating faster. "He's an old friend, you know
that."
Here's the final version, seasoned just
right, in my opinion:
Example #3
Ylva swallowed a mouthful of soup and
sighed. "Theodorik Blakkvor stopped by earlier today, while you were in the
meadow."
Ravelda's ears pricked. "Who?"
"Don't you remember him? You met him when
you were about five winters old. He's short, with a crooked nose."
Ravelda squinted as she thought. "I don't
remember anything from that long ago."
A familiar knot tightened in her stomach.
Could Theodorik be my father? When she was little, she used to
pretend her father was talking to her, and they would have long
conversations in her head. But she could never truly hear his voice.
Ravelda bounced her leg to release nervous
energy and tried to smile teasingly. "Is Theodorik your sweetheart?"
Ylva snorted. "Certainly not. He's an old
friend, you know that."
After you've worked on your fictional body
language, your characters will come alive. |
